


Spring is Apocalypse Season

by Whedonista93



Series: Wilson Family Values [2]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Captain America (Movies), Deadpool (2016), Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-08
Updated: 2017-06-08
Packaged: 2018-11-10 21:23:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11134953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whedonista93/pseuds/Whedonista93
Summary: Wade spun gleefully, his katanas flashing in the moonlight, greenish blood flying. He was surrounded by monsters uglier and meaner than any alien that had ever invaded New York and dozens of women stronger than they had any right to be.





	Spring is Apocalypse Season

**Author's Note:**

> aggiepuff  
>  As always, thank you for being an enabler and the world's best beta! ;)
> 
> And seriously, I know it was subtle, but did ANYONE catch this crossover in Wilson Family Values?

_ “It's the end of the world as we know it; It's the end of the world as we know it; It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine” _ Rona’s phone rang loud in the gym, even over sounds of sparring and heavy bags.

 

Wade pointed at her from across the gym. “I fucking love that song! I knew there was a reason you were my favorite!”

 

Rona grinned then glanced down at the phone. The familiar name on the caller ID made her groan as she slid her finger across the screen to answer. “Can this year’s Apocalypse really not be stopped without me?”

 

The man on the other end of the call chuckled. “Sorry, Rona, but this one's a doozy,” he said. “All hands on deck.” 

 

Rona sighed, shoulders sagging. “And I guess I can’t take the scenic route?”

 

“Preferably not.”

 

Rona sighed. “Fine.” She scanned the gym, attention caught by the mercenary in red sparring with Sam. “Wade!”

 

Her nephew bolted over, sliding to a stop at the edge of her  mat. “Yes ma’am!”

 

She jerked her chin toward his belt. “How confident are you in that thing?”

 

Wade shrugged. “As long as you’re planning on staying on earth… it’s pretty accurate. Except for that one time I ended up in this hella trippy parallel universe and everyo-”

 

Rona clapped a hand over his mouth. “Great. You and me are going to Africa.”

 

“Ahri-a?” was his muffled question from behind her hand just as Xander’s voice squacked in her ear. “No civilians!”

 

She rolled her eyes, directing her attention at the phone. “He’s hardly a civilian. And you just all but said we need all the help we can get.” She hung up before Xander could respond, then dropped her hand from Wade’s mouth to squeeze his fingers. “Africa,” she told him.

 

Wade blinked down at her. “Uh… where? Africa is kinda fucking big.”

 

Rona bit her lip. “You need something to focus on?” Wade nodded. “You remember your Aunt Cari?”

 

Wade shrugged. “Kinda.”

 

“Focus on her. She’ll be there.”

 

“Ma!” Sam called.

 

Rona smiled at him. “Be back soon, baby. Spring is Apocalypse season.”

 

***

 

Wade spun gleefully, his katanas flashing in the moonlight, greenish blood flying. He was surrounded by monsters uglier and meaner than any alien that had ever invaded New York and dozens of women stronger than they had any right to be.

 

“You have the most badass friends, Auntie!” He called toward Rona, flipping over one of the beasts and two of the girls.

 

[Wonder how they’d fare against Angel?]

 

“Which one? There’re three in this author’s universe.”

 

[Fuucck, you’re right. The one with tits.]

 

{We’re not allowed to fight with Gothy McMuscles, anymore, remember?}

 

[Why? ‘Cause the giant metal dick is thinking with his giant metal dick? Don’t see how that’s  _ our _ problem!]

 

“Guys! Focus. Fucking demons, remember?!”

 

[Fucking demons… wonder if we could catch demon STD’s even though we can’t catch human ones?]

 

{You really wanna test it with these fuckers?}

 

[*shudder* Fuck no! These things are nasty!]

 

“Guys! Really! Less chatty more fighty.”

 

One of the nearest girls eyed Wade. “You’re weird.”

 

Wade beamed at her - not that it was visible through the mask. “I’m fucking awesome.” He punctuated the statement by throwing one of his katanas and beheading the demon that had been sneaking up behind her.

 

She glanced over her shoulder at the head rolling toward her feet and shrugged. “Not bad.”

 

Then she used him as a springboard to drive a dagger right into the top of another demon’s head.

Shortly after, there was a flash of light and it was all over.

 

***

 

Spike took a deep drag off his cigarette. “Not that he wasn’t bloody useful, but what the  _ hell _ were you thinking bringing that kid here?”

 

“He held his own!” Rona glared.

 

Everyone’s voices started overlapping each other.

 

“Well, yeah, but -” Dawn started.

 

“Still completely reckless-” Xander growled.

 

“Who is he that you just-” Buffy began.

 

“Might not have been the wisest-” Giles scrubbed furiously at his glasses.

 

Faith let out a sharp whistle, abruptly silencing the babble. “What the hell is wrong with you all?” she demanded, glaring at them. “Did you really not notice how many times he saved our asses?”

 

Wade, slouched behind Rona, sent her  a small grin, hidden beneath the mask.

 

“He’s Vi’s boy.” Rona offered quietly.

 

Wade straightened up. “Mom was… like you guys?”

 

Rona turned to rest a hand on his shoulder. “Yeah, baby. One of the best in her prime.”

 

“Oh.”

 

***

 

“Sam doesn’t know about this.” Wade stated, plopping down next to Rona.

 

Rona shook her head. “No. He just thinks I was Army.”

 

“You gonna tell him?”

 

“Not ‘til I have to.”

 

***

 

“Bored?” Dark hair, dark eyes, and red lips hung over Wade with a smirk; it was the girl who had defended him.

 

Wade jumped to his feet. “Fuck yes!”

 

“Wanna go hunting?”

 

Wade’s eyes widened. “There’s still shit out there after  _ that _ clusterfuck?!”

 

Faith’s eyes sparkled with pure mischief. “You have no idea.”


End file.
